How to Co-Parent with Peace, Grace, and Boundaries

Quick Caveat: Now, I’m taking into account that some of you may not have a healthy co-parent. You may have to parent with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. You may be on the other side of a bitter divorce. You might even be dealing with an absentee co-parent. In these instances, I would say that if you’ve done all you can do, then all you can do is be a stable, healthy, happy parent to your child or children. Make it a point to nourish your own soul, care for your own mental health, and not keep your focus on your co-parents lack of accountability. They are doing what they know or want to do, and there’s nothing you can do to change another person.

However, you CAN keep your head and heart happy - even in the midst of struggle - so that your children have the benefit of a happy home life with a parent who loves herself, and them, DEEPLY. Focusing on the past will stress you out, and we don’t have time for that! (Stress leads to premature wrinkles, shuga so it’s a no for me!). With that being said…

Here’s how you can co-parent with confidence, even when the journey gets tough.

The Struggle:
Co-parenting dynamics can be riddled with frustration. Misaligned priorities, lack of communication, or lingering conflicts often create unnecessary stress for everyone involved.

The Solution:
While perfect harmony may not always be achievable, respectful and effective communication can ease tension. Here are budget-friendly, actionable strategies to foster healthier co-parenting relationships.

Communicate with Purpose

• Stick to the Facts: Keep conversations focused on your child’s needs rather than past conflicts.

• Use Neutral Language: Avoid blame and stick to “I” statements. For example, say, “I’d like to discuss the upcoming school meeting,” rather than, “You always miss important things.”

• Schedule Check-Ins: Create a consistent time for discussions about your child’s schedule, needs, and progress. Have a standing meeting on the calendar that sends reminders. Both GroupMe and WhatsApp allow you to schedule events that send reminders to everyone in the group.

Create Clear Boundaries

• Respect Roles: Honor each other’s parenting time without micromanaging. For instance, if you read bedtime stories and they play music before bedtime, that’s not something you need to micromanage as long as your child is in bed at the appointed time.

• Agree on Rules: Establish consistent guidelines for bedtime, screen time, and homework to maintain stability for your child across households.